Wedding Invitations Etiquette With Mary Thornton of Party Party Events


Mary Thorton from Party Party is on the blog to talk about wedding invitation etiquette. Here are some highlights from todays podcast.

How Do You Address These?

  • A female doctor is married to a male house spouse
    • If they share the same name: Mr. John and Dr. Mary Smith or Mr. and Dr. Smith
    • If they don’t Share a last name: Mr John Smith and Dr Mary Smith
  • Addressing Two Married Doctors
    • Doctors Smith
    • Doctor Jones and Doctor Smith
  • Gay and lesbian couples
    • Joan Smith and Mary Jones
    • Joan and Mary Smith-Jones.
    • This is new territory for many of us, so consider how they would like to be addressed, and be respectful of personal preferences


What about the A and B list?

This is tricky. Mary suggests, you print out two response cards. Send the first wave invitations out 12 weeks before you wedding. If for example, you get 50 regrets, send the next wave of invitations based on guests

Be very careful with this! You don’t want people who know each other asking if and when they got an invitation.


Other situations covered

  • When should you order your invitations?
  • Do you use Ms. or Mrs for lesbian couples?
  • Where to splurge and where to save on your wedding invitations?
  • How to address inner and outer envelopes?
  • What do you do if you get busted sending out A and B lists
  • How do you keep your invitations casual for a rustic chic wedding, but still formal enough for a wedding (as opposed to a keg party)
  • What do you do when guests haven’t RSVP
  • Have an RSVP date a full month before the wedding. Give it a week after that. Then use email or a phone call to follow up with people.
  • Handling plus-ones
  • Should everyone get invited to the welcome/rehersal dinner at a destination wedding?


Best Advice:

Don’t let too many people have a say in your decisions. Invite a couple of close friends or family you trust.


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