The Wall Street Journal ran an article yesterday on couples who had two weddings and guess who was in it! Yep, yours truly. I just want to say right now that finally, after three (going on four) years, I finally feel vindicated as a “twice as nice bride”! Once we decided to have a wedding on each coast to accomodate family, I remember desperately searching online for advice about having two weddings. I didn’t find much, but I did find a not-so-supportive environment on The Knot.
The WSJ actually interviewed Carly Roney of The Knot who confirmed that:
Some people inevitably will think a couple is trying to “milk it” anyway, says Carley Roney, co-founder of TheKnot.com, a wedding media company.
Now to be fair, Carly isn’t saying she thinks couples are trying to milk it. Rather, she’s likely sourcing the Knot’s forums.
And let me tell you, I have a very special piece of hate in my heart for The Knot forums.
When we decided to have two weddings, I didn’t know much about weddings in general let alone producing two such events. So I started researching online. On recommendation from a friend, I found and joined the Knot. Quietly I searched on The Knot’s forums looking for others like me.
I found them.
Beaten into silence by a pack of vitriolic bitches calling “twice as nice brides” greedy, selfish, and narcissistic.
I felt mortified that I would be judged in such a way, and shocked that someone would think I was milking anything other than my dwindling savings account.
A few accusations about getting more registry gifts flew about, to which I thought, “I’d be cheaper to buy everything on my registry than to have two weddings.”
Other Knotties complained about “twice as nice brides” wearing their dress more than once, to which I thought, “It’s my dress and I paid a lot of money for it, If I want to wear it to the freaking grocery store, that’s my prerogative.
In short, I have never EVER recommended The Knot Communities. I have rarely come across such an unsupportive community of women in my life.
And while, in the interest of remaining professional, I’ve avoided the topic of my experience on The Knot’s forums. But when I read Carly’s “milking-it” statement, it hit a nerve and a whole flood of emotion came rushing back.
Lucky for me, I eventually found a supportive community (and the friendly term “twice as nice bride”) at the Off Beat Bride Tribe. Thank you Ariel!!!
Anyway, contrary to what the Knotties think, after interviewing four couples of various cultural backgrounds and budgets, the WSJ found:
Couples who plan two weddings aren’t necessarily big-spending party people looking to double their fun. Often, each family assumes responsibility for one event, including much of the planning and cost, since the intention is usually to alleviate family stress and fulfill wishes from both sides.
Yep, when couples opt for two weddings, it’s typically for family reasons. Period.
Read the whole story on the Wall Street Journal: http://t.co/PDI6EJIV