Lookback Lesson #21
Image from Two Ring Studios (on our 1 year anniversary) via DIY Bride
LOL, OK maybe not saved our marriage. Hubs and I aren’t on the rocks or anything. But we do fight, and we do get into boring work-a-day routines, and occasionally we take each other for granted.
No, no, don’t go! This isn’t old old married couple post! I promise I’ll bring it back around to weddings right now… You see, over the past four years of marriage, I’ve learned something about weddings.
Weddings (or, in this case, wedding memories) are really, really useful for keeping your marriage fresh. I’ll tell you how in a minute, but first a story about Love and War:
I was sitting on the sofa with Hubs the other day. His head was in my lap. I absentmindedly played with his hair.
I looked down and he was smiling.
I smiled.
“I can’t believe we’ve been together for a total of nine years,” I said, “It’s seems like such a long and such a short period of time”
“I know,” he said, smiling even bigger.
What I meant was that we feel comfortable to one another, like old friends. But we also feel new and fresh in our relationship, like two fresh love birds during those first few heady months of dating.
Rewind two days earlier and we were at each others throats about which one of us picks out the stupidest movies that are a total waste of time. Yes, really.
We were yelling and name-calling and yelling some more. Yep, I know it’s dumb, but it’s also a part of our marriage. We refer to them as “bickerments” and both acknowledge that they are ridiculous.
And yet two days later we’re staring all googly-eyed at one another on the sofa. In part, we’ve learned move through our arguments quickly and remain affectionate and tender toward each other. Always. Every day starts and ends with a hug, even if it is punctuated by a “bickerment.”
How do we do it?
I attribute it to the frequency at which we look at our wedding pictures and wedding video. Seriously, I am not lying. We watch our wedding video montage at least once every few months. (Of course I’m also looking at weddings everyday and frequently show them to Hubs, which helps. There’s nothing more romantic than looking at Love all day long.)
You see, your wedding pictures and video can be much more than something that gets you published in a magazine or blog. They can be more than something to glance at after in the weeks immediately after your wedding to see what you’ve missed. You’re wedding pictures and video can be a tool for keeping your marriage alive and fresh.
Think of it. Your wedding (and engagement) pictures show you as a couple at your most loving and hopeful moment. When he proposed, and you said yes, you saw the best in each other. And what you saw was so good, you vowed to spend the rest of your lives with each other. When you stand before each other in front of all your friends and family, making a formal and legal commitment to spending your lives together, you will be honoring (again) the very best of each other. In a way, you are pronouncing your faith in each other.
So when the year-in-and-year-out doldrums or upheavals of marriage threaten to erode away at that hope, optimism, and respect, grab your wedding video or pictures and take a look at them together.
I know, I know, men are different. Most aren’t going to leap at the chance to pour over your wedding pictures every few months.
So, I like to be sneaky (you don’t read my blog, do you Hubs?) and randomly play on the computer. As soon as he hears our song, Hubs will wander in to watch. As the video ends, we’re usually hugging, and smiling, and kissing. We’re instantly reminded of all the qualities we admire in one another. We are reminded to be tender toward one another. And the faith that our marriage will last forever is renewed.
So the lesson learned, if I were to put a pretty, metaphorical bow, atop of this entire post, is to choose your photographer wisely, and don’t skip on the video. Because long after the wedding is over, and you’ve settled into the forever-part of your marriage, those images can help keep you connected to one another in fresh and endearing ways, year after year.
Curious about that video? OK, it’s HERE Be warned it’s a home-movie style video with lot’s of DIY and family action, but that’s who we are. We’re close to our friends and family and had a ball teaming up with them to make our wedding happen. Also, we screwed up on our choice of photographer, so all of the images are family and friend pictures. On our year anniversary we got professional portraits done. Finally, I want to say that the decisions we made were personal ones. Just because I was a budget DIY bride, doesn’t make this a budget DIY blog. Mountainside Bride celebrates all types of mountain weddings big and small, simple and grand :-)