Crap! Is This What The Rest of My Life Looks Like?
Image from Gridskipper
OK, My {New} Blog Sucks
The new blog, Mountainside Bride, is still not ready, and I’m heart broken. I’m ready to throw in the towel. I just want to blog. Maybe I should just stay here, on Hindsight Bride, and blog. I hate not blogging everyday. I’m a blogger for crissake. My heart is with producing content. I HATE trying to make a category-archives page work properly. I HATE trying to figure out which design elements will work in my sidebar calls-to-action; and I freaking HATE trying to unravel the mess my terminally-ill-can’t-finish-the-project coder left me with. Arg! It’s called style.css NOT base.css, short-bus!
And I’m Jealous
I’ve been futzing around in the code for weeks. I’m hating it. I’m thinking of quitting.
Quitting = Wine.
Quitting = Relaxation.
Quitting = Trouble-free blogging.
To make matters worse, I’m feel simultaneous celebratory and jealous of my dear friends Lauren and Megan who have successfully launched their own projects. YAY for you girls, but God I feel like this highlights my own shortcomings. I feel lousy. And for some reason it reminds me of my engagement.
Which Reminds me of When My Engagement Sucked
I’m not gonna lie: there were a handful of times when I thought, is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Bickering with this jackass? Not getting along? Not seeing eye-to-eye? Who would marry such an asshole? Oh, no! Not Me!
Of course I have no bloomin’ idea what the eff we were arguing about. Probably stupid shit like wedding decor, or money, or the guest list. All I remember is thinking–and by thinking I mean I was screaming inside my head–I can’t do it! I don’t want this! I quit! This is too hard!
In the heat of the moment, I seriously contemplated calling off the engagement. Not once, but a few times. No lie. It was intense. It was a big project. It was a HUGE commitment. Similarly, I have seriously thought of shit-canning the Mountainside Bride and going back to the status quo. Because it’s intense, and it’s a big project, and it’s a HUGE commitment.
And Then There Was The Wedding
And then there was our wedding. Beautiful. Magical. Every detail falling into place.
And then there is our marriage. Safe. Comforting. Still full of jokes and hugs, and super-fun-awesome adventures.
OK, to be fair, the marriage it’s still not rainbows and sausages at every moment in the Hindsight Household, but it’s good. Really good. Like most marriages, it takes work, but it’s good.
And that’s the real reason my sucky blog reminds me of my (sometimes) sucky engagement. Because ultimately, it wasn’t all bad. And ultimately the “product” (read: the wedding/the rebrand) ended up being wonderful. And ultimately, the real “product (read: the marriage/ the new blog) will continue to be fulfilling, life-sustaining, and fun–day after day.
Right, thanks for the “pep talk,” dear readers 
~MWAH!
P.S. Incidentally, Megan from Glamour and Grace and Lauren from Every Last Detail deserve credit for their continual support and encouragements, and occasionally talking me off the ledge Thanks Ladies!
P.P.S. I promise, the new blog will launch within the week! And if you haven’t already done so, sign up for the new Mountainside Bride newsletter for the latest from the blog as well as mountain wedding tips and trick you won’t find anywhere else!
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Christie, I stumbled across this (for the second time) today, and I can totally hear your voice in my head as I read it!! I especially like the bit about rainbows and sausages, because what good marriage wouldn’t have rainbows and sausages nearly all the time? Right, zero.
This makes me wish that Mammoth weren’t quite so far away.